


Absence Makes The Heart Fonder

by PrettyQueerDear



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe, Angst and Tragedy, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff and Angst, Long-Distance Friendship, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, Notes, Sorry Not Sorry, Underage Drinking, possible suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-19
Updated: 2015-10-19
Packaged: 2018-04-26 16:39:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5012038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrettyQueerDear/pseuds/PrettyQueerDear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Distance sometimes endears friendship, and absence sweeteneth it.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Absence Makes The Heart Fonder

**Author's Note:**

> The Beta for the first half of the story: The Stranger.  
> 

His first encounter with Bill wasn't exactly romantic by any means, it wasn't even pleasant. Even match maker extraordinaire, Mabel Pines, had to admit it wasn't what one would call a fairy-tale encounter. That was fine with Dipper, he didn't need a knight in shining armor on a white horse. Bill had always been enough. He had been enough with his terrible puns, bad eating habits, and loud snoring. Bill had been enough being Bill.

Maybe it was him that wasn't enough?

***

It had been his first time visiting Gravity Falls with his sister, Mabel, and so far the summer had been pretty uneventful with the usual fishing trips, camping trips, and work around the shack. Nothing worth bragging or mentioning about back home as far as he was concerned. It kinda of a disappointment knowing he have to come back every year after this one. That particular day had been dragging sluggishly with everyone being busy and leaving Dipper to his own devices. His sister went to hang out with her new friends, Soos was at his other job, and Wendy was hanging out with Robbie. Even his grunkle Stan was busy "paying" his taxes.

He had decided to fight off the boredom by exploring and recording the wild life in the forest. He had been examining what he thought was poison oak when he heard a strange rustling in the trees. Being the curious boy he was, he had to investigate. He went and stood under the rustling leaves trying to get a peek of what animal could be causing the disturbance when a blurry figure came crashing down. He heard the sickening sound of bone hitting bone and felt his teeth clatter as they slammed shut from the force.

"Watch where you're going!" A voice yelled from...above?

Dipper jolted in surprise when he came nose to nose with another person, and scrambled to put some space between them. A boy with blond hair around his age was hanging upside down from a tree, body pinned between two branches. The boy had his hands and arms swaying pass his head with his skinny legs wrapped securely around a thick branch. The oddest thing was was that he had thick bandages covering his left eye. His other eye was a startling blue so pale that if he hadn't been an inch away from it moments ago, he would have thought it was grey. 

"S-sorry man I-" He stopped himself mid sentence and blinked up at the other boy, realization sinking in. "Wait a minute, what are you even doing up there in the first place?!" He asked irritated. How was he supposed to know he was there?

"Oh, you know." The blond boy eyed the brunette. "Just hanging out, Pine Tree."

Dipper scoffed at the boy's terrible pun. "The name's Dipper not Pine Tree." He corrected. A small bump was already forming on his forehead. He hissed in pain as he went to touch it before yanking his hand back. His hat almost falling off as the bill of the it accidentally bumped into his hand.

The blond sneered with an air of amusement lingering around him. "I'm doing you a favor calling you Pine Tree with a name like Dipper kid." He rudely blew a raspberry. Some of the spit landed on Dipper's cheek. "Kinda sounds like diaper."

"Hey! It does not!" Dipper shouted defensively, his hands balled up into fists. "Also you're just a kid too!"

"Details! Details!" The boy dismissed him with a wave of his hand."I think all blood has been cut off down there. I can't feel a thing."  He gestured to his groin an unsettling grin stretching his cheeks. He sounded oddly proud of that statement.

Dipper grimaced, nose scrunched up in disgust. "Gross man, I didn't need to know that."

Bill just barked out a laugh as he lost his grip and fell out of the tree. There was a sickening crunch when Bill's body hit the ground head first. Dipper cried out in shock and rushed over to see if he was injured.

"Oh my god are you okay?!" He tentatively reached to touch the boy's shoulder. He felt something wet on his finger tips and yelped when he saw it was blood. "O-oh my g-god you're bleeding!"

The blond snapped his head up laughing hysterically . The there was an unsettling amount of blood steeping out of wound. "Hahaha do you hear yourself? Man I've never heard anyone's voice crack so badly!"

Dipper feels himself blush in mortification. He decides to pick himself up from the ground and stomps away from the asshat ridiculing his cracking voice.

"Where ya going Diaper?" The boy hollered t him between his howling laughter.

"Far away from you!" Dipper spat back. All he really wanted to do was go back and punch the vexatious boy until he stopped smiling that disturbing smile.

***

It wasn't until he was fourteen when he found the cabin. It was hidden within the woods away from prying eyes, rotting, neglected, and ready to collapse if someone were to so much as breath wrong. Bill beckoned him over as he swung sluggishly on a tire swing, the tip of his toes touching the soft grass as he swayed. The swing didn't look anymore appealing than what Dipper (correctly) assumed was Bill's home. Dipper nervously trotted over, his hands sweating. In the last three years he had found out the blond's name and his less than shining personality, but part from that he didn't know much about him. Once he was a foot away he stood awkwardly in front of the sitting boy. Bill had to tilt his head up to look to him, yet Dipper felt like he was the one being towered over. The silence put him on edge, when Bill finally spoke it wasn't much more reassuring.

"Dad kicked the bucket after he hung himself." The blond patted the side of the tire swing. Some flakes of dirt fell with the vibrations. "Right here in this very tree. Same rope too." He confessed nonchalantly. His voice took a light and amiable tone as though this was some pleasant conversation among friends. A small smile taking place on his lip, pleased in Dipper's obvious discomfort.

Dipper licked his lips anxiously. Unsure of where this was headed, he asked the first question that popped into his head and slipped out his mouth. "How'd your mom take it?"

There he goes again putting his foot in his mouth. His eyes shifted over anything and anywhere, but the blond. Yet somehow the blond managed caught his eyes and he was trapped.

"Not well, if the bottles she keeps stashed in her room mean anything." Bill shrugged, yawning loudly. He leaned back, his sneakers no longer touching the ground. His body loose but Dipper saw his stringing grip on the tire. "You'd think she's be glad, considering the crap he pulled, but instead she was bawling her eyes out."

"Don't you miss him?" Dipper couldn't see his face, only saw the other teen's body momentarily tensing before going lax again.

"Good riddance." Bill lifted himself upright back into sitting position with a groan. He pointed at the eye patch. "Pappy never give me more than this pretty little thing" The words spoken with venomous cheer.

"Why are you telling me all this?" Dipper asked suspiciously. Bill wasn't the kind for heart to heart talks, and he certainly wasn't one to give something for nothing. Dipper loathed him with a passion of a thousand suns, and nothing Mabel said could convince him otherwise.

"Because I know you won't go around telling this to anyone." He said bluntly before baring his teeth in a mocking attempt to smile, visible eye narrowed. "You have no one to tell."

Dipper clutched his hands with indignant anger, before taking a deep breath and letting it out. It wasn't a secret he didn't have any friends in town. Soos had moved away with Melody, and Wendy had gone to college out of state. Bill watched him with a look of disinterested and it pissed him off. "I won't tell anyone if you promise to quit harassing me." He hissed between gritted teeth.

Bill's eye widen momentarily before he was able to collect his features again. The bandages were long gone and replaced with a simple black eye patch. The wide grin and wicked glint in his eye unsettling Dipper. "Looks like Pine Tree got more than just bark." Bill hummed as he pretended to think over the offer. "You got yourself a deal kid." He stuck out his hand shake.

Dipper looked at it warily, unsure of what to think. Even if he came up with the compromise he hadn't expected Bill to give in so easily.

"Come one shake on it like a man." Bill egged on. "My hand is gonna fall off." Dipper frowned and shook his hand, squeezing hard. Bill winced as his grin became more on edge and he tighten his grip as well.

Dipper ending up breaking breaking his end of the deal. Bill had been wrong about one thing: Dipper did have someone one friend in Gravity Falls, Mabel.

Bill was livid when he discovered that Dipper had confined in his sister with such personal details of his life. How Bill found out he didn't know, but in the end it didn't matter because _Bill knew_.

He had landed a good punch in and would have done worst if Mabel hadn't intersected and pushed Bill to the ground. Mabel with her legs apart and hands on her hips glared down at Bill who was struggling to suck in air from the being winded. She promised if she ever saw him attack Dipper like that again, she'd personally find him and teach him a lesson. She also said no one would hear anything Dipper told her if he was willing to be their friend in return. Leave it to Mabel to try to make the best of the worst. Bill sniffled and held back angry tears before nodding tensely. He knew Mabel well enough to know she wasn't bluffing. Dipper had reached out to help him up, but Bill just slapped his hands away from him before standing up and walking away.

"Don't forget to come back here around noon tomorrow." Mabel hollered while cupping her hands around her mouth. Dipper didn't expect for Bill to call back so he did a double take when the blond stopped walking and turned back to face them.

"Why should I trust you?" He called back. The question appeared to be directed to Mabel, but his eye flicked to Dipper.

Mabel smiled widely her straight teeth showing proudly. "Just trust us."

At first their friendship-if one could call it that- that summer was filled with tense silence or snarky remarks. Bill seemed hell bent on doing anything he could to discourage the twins, from eating bugs to throwing them into any and all possible danger. One memory stood out for Dipper, the one where they had stumbled across a unknown stream deep within the forest.

"Lets go for a swim" The blond yelled over the roaring water, pointing frantically at the river.

"No!" The twins shouted, frantically shaking their heads. The water had to be freezing and they didn't have any change of clothing.

Bill had just shrugged and carelessly began undressed down to his undergarments and his eye patch before flinging himself into the surging water. The boy quickly sank, vanishing from sight. The twins had rushed to dodge the incoming splash caused by Bill. They waited for him to resurface, for him to mock them for not being brave enough to join him, but after a minute they realized he wasn't going to come back. Dipper didn't need to think about it, he dove into the chilling water with clothes and shoes still on. The water was as freezing as he suspected it be, stabbing his nerves and numbing quickly. He forced his eyes open and gave them time to adjust. He spotted Bill's motionless body floating near the bottom. He swam towards him quickly. Bill jerked when he reached for his arm, his eye wide open with genuine surprise in the golden orb. Dipper glanced at his other eye socket, it was hauntingly empty black hole with scar tissue surrounding it. The current must have snatched it.  Bill thoughtlessly opened to mouth to say something. All that came out was garbled nonsense and frightfully large air bubbles. Dipper had grabbed his hand and swam them to the surface. They both sunk their hands into the muddy bank, clawing their way onto land. Mabel quickly rushed to Dipper's side and checked for any injuries .

"Are you okay?" Her round eyes filled with concern.

"Ye-yeah." He coughed, throat sore from the water he unintentionally inhaled. "No thanks to him." He hissed.

Bill just turned his head and vomited the excess water in his body. When he finished he was left dry heaving and coughing. His scrawny body covered in goosebumps and trembling from the force along with the cold air.

"If you knew you couldn't swim why did you jump in?" Dipper demanded, enraged. "What the hell is wrong with you!"

"Oh, lots of things are wrong with me." Bill croaked in an eerie voice, his eyes glazed over, and pathetically shivering in the mud. He hugged himself, his chin resting on his knees. His hand went to cover the empty socket. "Lots of things."

Mabel and Dipper exchanged a look as Bill finally got up and promptly got dressed. The walk home was more tense  than usual. Bill didn't try to crack any morbid jokes and Mabel wasn't talking. The twins huddled together for warmth. Dipper hoped he wouldn't get sick from the being wet and exposed to the cold air. Bill just hugged himself and trembled by himself. When it was finally time to part ways Bill turned around with that uncanny smile of his, unnaturally wide and forced. Like he almost hadn't died.

"Next time don't bother fishing me out." He chirped out cheerfully. "You'll avoid getting wet that way." He turned his heel and sprinted away before the twins could respond. Dipper felt a shiver rake down his spine, nothing to do with the cold night air.

***

After the drowning incident, things ran a bit smoother. He found out that Bill actually a great conversation partner when he wasn't speaking in riddles or being a general cryptic asshole. Much to his surprise he had began to look forward to their trips together. By the end of summer, they had exchanged numbers and emails to keep in touch. Usually Bill would send him some stupid memes and scream videos (and no he didn't fall for them sometimes and scream like a girl) along with silly texts.

One thing Dipper learned about Bill was that he was always seemed to be getting into fights at school. Dipper almost had a stroke when Bill had appeared on  his laptop screen with a black eye and puffed face. Dipper noticed the bandages, the cuts, and bruises. He just didn't know how to bring it up. It frightened him how causal Bill was about his death. It was like he didn't care what happened to himself. Bill also never seemed keen on never talking about the details to his injuries, he just brush off Dipper questions.

Either way though Dipper always looked forward to the summers. It was the only time he got to see Bill in person after all. Bill with his goofy laugh and snorts. Bill with his terrible puns and horrible stories. Bill with his beautiful face and blue eye. Bill being the most interesting person Dipper had ever met. So what if Bill would never like him like he did? Bill was enough just being his friend. That's what he told himself in the mirror everyday at least. 

***

Bill finally asked him out on his 16th birthday. It had been awkward and clumsy with a lot of sweating, swears, and confusion. Mabel had been ecstatic to see them finally get together after years of flirting. Stan looked torn between being proud and having a stroke.

To this this day Dipper will never understand why Bill thought it would be a good idea to set the pinata on fire.

Dipper had also never been so happy before. It was such a relief to have the person he loved love him back.

*** 

The green glass bottles laid scattered were around the room. All of them empty. With a bottle in each hand Bill took a long swing before letting out a satisfied sigh. Dipper just stared blankly at the one cupped in his hands. His eyebrows furrowed as he thought deeply,  almost unaware of his dancing crush a few feet away. They were alone in Dipper and Mabel's room for the remainder of the night. Mabel had gone out to a sleepover with her girlfriends and Stan had left on some "business". 

"It's only illegal if you get caught doing it." Those were Stan's parting word.

Too bad Bill decided to take them to heart. It was all a blur to Dipper's intoxicated brain, but Bill had somehow convinced him to part take in some drinking. The beers of course were (unbeknownst to Stan) provided by Stan's supply. 

"Why do you do it Bill?" He asked his mind foggy. Words were becoming harder to pronounce. "You could get yourself killed."

Bill stopped dancing momentarily to drunkenly replied "That's the point Pine Tree."

"W-what isssss? Dipper slurred. His head swaying like a broken bobble head. He better stop that, he was staring to get nauseous.

"We were boorn to diaaaa." Bill dissolved into high pitch giggles like he had just told the funniest joke in his life. He started to aggressively rub his eye, laughter a bit forced.

The conversation was soon forgotten with more drunk dancing, Bill pulling him for some crude swing.

Bill was awoken the next morning by the sunshine steeping through the open window. He groaned, rolling to his right. Unfortunately, he ended up rolling off the bed, the loud thump waking up Dipper. "Ughhh someone, anyone make the sun explode." he moaned in annoyance.

"If they did that then we'd all be dead." Dipper moaned as he pulled the covers over his head. The sunlight filtering through the windows were giving him a headache. 

"No hangover. Even better." Bill childishly approved as he got up from the floor to crawl under the sheets. He laid on his back pressing against Dipper. He arm going up to cover his eyes,.At some point his eye patch had been discarded during the night.

"Hey Bill." Dipper asked biting the inside of his cheek, unsure of himself. His heart thumping in his chest, hands sweating, and head pounding.

"Mmm, yeah?"

Dipper rolled over so he could face Bill on his side. The blanket shifted around them. "I'd miss you if something happened to you man." He confessed, his voice a soft whisper. "Don't say things like that"

Bill peeked at him from under his arm, a befuddled frown on his face. "I-I"

"Mabel and Stan too." Dipper cut in softly briefly conflicted before he gave in to his urges and petted Bill's head.Bill snorted unattractively as he leaned into the comforting touch, lowering his arm over his chest.  He ignored the way his heart fluttered at the soothing touches, keeping his eyes closed. If he had opened he would have seen the look of longing and adoration Dipper was giving him.

"Stan has threatened me more times than I can count so I doubt that." He scoffed.

Dipper nudged Bill's hair out his eyes. "You know he doesn't mean it. He's just some grumpy old man." His finger going to trace Bill's face. 

"Don't let him hear that or you'll be next." Bill warned with serious expression, biting his bottom lip to keep his smile at bay. Dipper hummed in agreement.

"Of course, of course." They both nodded to each other in confirmation and than proceeded to laugh as the serious mood lightened. They laid in bed a few more hours just enjoying each other company.Shy smiles and flush faces exchanged the rest of the day. That is until his grunkle Stan burst into the room demanding to know what happened to all the alcohol. Dipper could have died in mortification when Stan decided having "the talk" was a good idea. It got worst with the  fact Bill was there to hear it too.

 ***

Long distance relationships could be frustrating beyond words most times and more than once Dipper had admitting to getting a bit upset over seeing a couple walk down the halls at school. It seemed unfair that they got to spend time with someone they loved and all he got was a Skype call once week. Bill wasn't fairing off any better though. They did their best to try to make things work.

Dipper's back resting against the trunk of a tree. Bill was nestled between his legs, his back against Dipper's chest. Dipper ran his fingers through the blond's hair, Bill relaxing under his gentle touches. Next to them was his discarded eye patch, Bill didn't need to feel self-conscious around him.

"You know what they say about absence." Bill drawled with his eyes half lidded.

"What that?" Dipper huffed. He would indulge Bill when he felt playful. 

"Absence makes the heart fonder." Bill purred. A mischievous glint in Bill's blue eye as he snaked his hand into Dipper's.

Dipper looked at their intertwined fingers. Long and slender fingers slotted between his thick hairy ones, complimenting each other in an odd way. He buried his face into Bill's shoulder sighing in content. 

"Heh don't do that." Bill giggled shoving his face away. "You know my neck is sensitive!"

Dipper tighten his grip around Bills waist playfully squeezing him. "I'll do whatever I want with my boyfriend." He stated ignoring Bill's protests and nuzzling the blond's neck more.

After a few more moments of struggling and failure Bill gave up with a huff. "And they say I'm the asshole."

"And they're not wrong." He bantered.

"Rude much!" Bill cried out in mock of offense.

"Nope that's you too." Dipper gave an impish grin as Bill tilted his head up to pout. 

"Maybe I should get another boyfriend? One that treats me right." He threatened. He obviously didn't mean it if the twitch on his lips meant anything.

Dipper snickered. "Well until he shows up you're stuck with me." He leaned down to give a tiny peck on Bill's nose.

"Dipper Pines you are the one good thing in my life aside from the old man and Mabel." Bill admitted as a light blush painted his tan skin. He leaned closer to Dipper. Their noses just touching.  "I don't think there's anyone else I want."

"Me either." Dipper sighed before going in for a kiss.

***

He was comfortable in bed when he phone went off. He glanced at his digital clock, squinting at the bright red numbers. Holy crap, who was calling him at 3 in the morning? Sluggishly he reached out for his cellphone and put it to his ear. A yawn escaping his throat.

"Hello." His voice was thick with sleep, mind still disoriented. 

"Dibber can ya come oveerrr? I'm colddd." The words spoken heavy and slow, clear intoxication lacing into Bill's speech. There was music softly playing in the background, statistical and unclear.

"No Bill go to sleep." He groaned. "You're going to have a hangover tomorrow."

"Do you hate me?"

That was unexpected.

"What? No, of course not." Dipper frowned rubbing his right eye with the heel of his palm. He sat up straighter  in his bed, the blanket pooling around him."Bill are you okay?"

There was a silence on other line. Dipper tapped his fingers impatiently on his thigh, sucking in his bottom lip.

"Bill?" Worry and unease was beginning creeping in. Bill had no control over his inside voice even when he was sober. It wasn't like him to be so quite especially when he was drunk.

"Love you." The words spoken too mournful for usually such sweet words. "I think I'm gonna to..." Bill mumbled  his words mushing together in unclear noises. Nothing what he was saying was making sense.

"You 're going to what?"

"I can't remember." Bill said sounding genuinely distressed at his statement. " Just I think I lost them"

"Lost what Bill?" 

"My keyssssss how they open the door? Oh god everything is going so fast! The trees are all blurryyy a-and..."

"Do me a favor and go to sleep." Dipper cut him off, rolling his eyes in exasperation. He had been anxious for nothing, Bill wasn't in danger, just overly drunk.

Silence.

"...Will you be there when I wake up?"

"I'll be there when you wake up." Dipper promised as he sunk back down into his mattress. The soft blanket wrapped around him, tempting him to go back to sleep.

"Deal?" A hopeful note taking place in Bill's voice.

"Deal." He closed his eyes yawning out. "Just trust me."

There was another pause as the music changed in the background. "I trust you." Bill whispered. 

Dipper hesitated. "Bill?"

"Hmmmm?" The "m" drawling out with tiredness. Dipper smiled to himself, he wasn't the only tired one after all. He was just over thinking things.

"Love you too."

***

The ride to Gravity Falls was long, but they had been driving themselves since they got their licenses. So what if he was speeding just a bit, it's not like anyone noticed.

"Haha you're such an eager beaver to see your boyfriend." Mabel giggled in childish glee.  Her eyes glancing to the speedometer every one in a while. 

Okay so someone noticed.

"So what if I am? Can't a guy be happy happy seeing his boyfriend after months apart?" Dipper laughed. A  blush dusting his cheekbones. He didn't mind Mabel's teasing, after all it was all in good fun.

The light turned red. He pulled to a stop and looked around at the town. Same old faces with a mixture of new ones. His eyes flickered to the traffic lights and to is sister debating. Checking to see if no one was looking as he took out his cellphone. He usually got bombarded with messages from his boyfriend when he came to visit, but today there had been none. Bill must still be asleep or at work in the shack. Maybe he should sent a text..? He started typing his message when his cellphone was yanked unexpectedly from his unprepared hand. He looked up to see a frowning Mabel. Before he could protest a honk interrupted him. He jumped up in his seat startled by the loud noise and saw that the light had turned green. Another honk behind them.

"Don't text while driving Dip-n-dot." She scowled him shaking her finger at him as he got the car in moton.

Dipper frowned. "It was a red light."

"Doesn't matter. Car accidents happen like that all the time."

"Please Mabel nothing ever happens in Gravity Falls."

"True." She relented a bit. "Still don't do it again."

"Yes ma'ma." He saluted mockingly with his left hand, eyes on the road.

"Both hands on the wheel mister!" She screeched making Dipper wince. 

The rest of the car ride was uneventful. The soft sound of music steeping through the cracks of the radio, filling up the comfortable silence. Mabel was going to stop by Candy's house to catch up with each other. Dipper offered to drop their things off for her much to his sister's delight.

Mabel nearly threw the car door off it's hinges in her rush out towards Candy's front door. He excitement making Dipper chuckled. A petite young women with ebony hair stepping out as Mabel thew herself at her, crushing her in a hug. Their squeals of jubilation making Dipper cringe in his car. His sympathy went out to all the dogs within a mile radius. He honked at them as he drove away, waving goodbye  before turning the corner. He swore as he turned he saw Candy's smile drop, but than again he could just be sleep depraved. He tapped the steering wheel in rhythm with the pop music. His thoughts drifting towards his grunkle, the Mystery Shack, and Bill.

He smiled to himself. He really was looking forward to seeing Bill. He wanted to run his finger though his blond silky hair, hold his slender hands in his own, share kisses with him, and other fun activities... He shook his head lightly, trying to stay concentrated on less explicit thoughts. The point was he wanted to see his boyfriend. To just be able to enjoy the soft and quite moments in each other's presence. All he had to do was get to the shack, talk to his grunkle and drop off a few thing before he could.

He drove up the road and in the distance he could see the shack. A sudden bit of nostalgia hit him in waves. The shack hadn't changed since his first summer here. On the porch he saw his grunkle in boxers and white tank top sitting on the couch. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Wasn't the mystery shack open today? As he got closer he saw the bags under the man's eyes and the way his shoulders sagged in exhaustion. His head in his hands in a position of defeat. For the first time in years the man actually looked his age.

"Grunkle Stan?" He called out once he parked the car. He made quick pace up to the porch. When the man didn't respond he called his name again.

"Huh?" The man's rough voice rasped. When he noticed who he was talking to his face twisted in pain. "I think you need to sit down." He patted the spot next to him.

"Not until you tell me what's wrong." He demanded. He was trying to keep his head leveled. His eyes scanned the area. "Where is everyone? Where's Bill?" A dreadful feeling was crawling itself up from the pit of his stomach. For an eternity no one said anything, the soft chirping of birds muffling the cold silence. His uncle sighed heavily. 

"Oh kid...I'm so sorry, um,  there's been an accident. "His grunkled coughed into his fist, his board shoulders stiff and eyes sweeping the ground. "Bill...he was drunk and he was driving to California..." He inhaled, steeling himself. "I'm sorry Dipper he didn't make it..." 

Dipper stared at Stan and laughed. His grunkle gave him a worried look. He always knew his grunkle Stan was a good lair and actor, but this wasn't funny. Bill was such a jackass, why did he think it was okay to pull these kinds of pranks. Stan wasn't any better by only encouraging him.

"Nice try you guys, but I'm not going to fall for that."

"Bill drove straight into a tree at 90 miles per hour. It was sometime around 3 in the morning. " Tears started to leak from the older man's face. His grunkle began to scrub his eyes furiously. "What a stupid brat." Stan spat.

Dipper's laughter stopped. His heart stop. 

"That's not possible." His body started to shake, hands sweating and stomach coiling unpleasantly.That wasn't possible, it just wasn't. Dipper heard his voice not long ago, just a few hours ago.

Suddenly it felt like that day out by the river, a cold splashing, chilling him deep inside his core. He heard muffled sounds, Stan was still talking and Dipper couldn't hear him. His vision was failing him as the world became blurred and his eyes stung. He felt a hand touch his shoulder and flinched away. His thoughts racing and sluggish all at once. Words sounding disoriented to his ear, not making sense, yet stabbing at his heart.

"I g-got to find him!" He yelled. Someone, he didn't know who anymore, probably his uncle, grabbed him. He lashed out, ripping their hands off him."I GOT TO FIND HIM." He screeched in denial.

Not thinking clearly he shot off into direction of the woods, lung burning and breathing uneven. He barely felt the scrapes of the branches on his face and arms. He ran even as his legs burned, begging for a break. When he reached his destination he almost cried out in relief. There after all these years and against the odds was Bill's crumbling home.

If this thing could stand the test of time how could a young man like Bill not?

He rushed, skipping the steps on up the porch and began to pound on the door. With each hit the old and abused door rattled on it's hinges.

"BILL! BILL!!" A small movement by the window caught his eye. "BILL! I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!" The curtains were parted an inch, a familiar  blue eye looked at him.

"Bill! Is that you?!" He yelled, desperation choking his words. At first there was no sound beyond his beating heart and panting breaths.

"Bill's no longer here." The voice softly croaked. "My son passed away this morning, please don't come here anymore." They pleaded as their voice started to crack as well.

 He rested his forehead on the wooden door, splinters needling into his skin. He hugged himself with his hands gripping is arm,  nails digging into his soft skin. His teeth biting into his bottom lip until it bleed, muffling his sobs.

"Sorry for disturbing you." The voice didn't sound like his, it couldn't have come from his mouth. His voice never sounded so dead. His body began to move on it's own accord, following some unknown map. A few times he almost tripped and fell, but he keep trudging forward. Away.

Away from what he couldn't say. Away from the cabin? Away from the shack? Away from his memories? It didn't matter he just needed to keep moving. 

He kept walking until he his sneakers sunk into soft mud. He looked up to see a river. The river, the same one he rescued Bill from as kids. He didn't know how long he stood there on the muddy bank  just staring at the white water, the pulling of the current or listened to the rushing water, drowning out all the other thoughts. He briefly wondered if the water was as cold as it had been that day. What Bill thought that day. What Bill thought of when he died.

 _ **"It doesn't' matter"**_ He thought bitterly. _ **"He's dead."**_

"Where are you Bill." He whispered unsure of what he was really asking. His voice cracked and throat sore from his screams and sobbing. The only answer was a deafening silence harmonizing with the rushing river. His heart felt like it was being skinned and torn apart, no longer beating, bits of it falling into excruciating stillness. Is this what it felt like to have his other half ripped from his side? To be completely torn down without being touched? If so Bill had gotten the better end of the deal.

He shoved his hands into the pockets of his blue sweater and hissed in pain when something stabbed him under his finger nail. He cursed in aggravation and yanked the offending object out of his pocket. It was a note.

The note Bill had given him on his 18th birthday, along with his birthday present. The one he carried around to look at when he felt lonely and to remind himself of  who was always waiting for him. Of who he could always go to when Mabel couldn't. It was crumpled and the words barely legible.

 

 

_Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder_

_-Love, Bill_

 

**Author's Note:**

> Fun Facts: 1)Some parts of this fic can be found in the intro to "Who's He?" before I made it into a totally separate fic.  
> (Which won't be updated soon considering I worked on this instead)  
> 2)Margarita Cult partly inspired this with their constant angst talks.
> 
> The certain scenes were inspired by ve1art on tumblr! you guys sould check out turtle dad and their awesome art!  
> River scene:  
> -http://ve1art.tumblr.com/post/126215071366/for-the-cipher-twins-au-what-if-bill-and-dip (river scene)  
> Tree scene:  
> -http://ve1art.tumblr.com/post/122651219056/save-him  
> Bill eating a bug idea:  
> -http://ve1art.tumblr.com/post/121416040931/its-almost-6am-the-sun-is-rising-and-bill-ate-a (
> 
> Also this fic was never meant to be this sad. Here are some alternatives of which I thought of writing which would have made it sadder.  
> -Thought about making Dipper have a fight with Bill on the phone. (but I decided not to; mostly because I got too sad thinking about it.)  
> \- Thought about Dipper jumping into the river and committing suicide (Well I mean that can be your head cannon ending for this vague ending if you want.)
> 
> Comments and thoughts on the story appreciated! Thanks for reading! <3  
>  


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